Technically, I guess it’s a little more than the halfway point, but who’s counting?  🙂 

By this point, I was told that I would more than likely start to feel the side affects of the radiation…fatigue, bowel and urinary issues…and while I’ve been experiencing some affects (I won’t tell you which ones!), I’ve been bracing myself for the moment that they just really kick in, ya know?  But I was assured last week that it was more of a gradual process not something that just happened overnight.  I can understand that, but that I’m still bracing myself for the worst!  

I do still have 12 more treatments to go, so who really knows what’s going to happen!  But regardless, I’m ready!!

Flying back from San Diego this morning and flight was delayed by nearly two hours due to high winds at SFO. Had we been delayed one more hour, I definitely would have missed my treatment today! 

Though very annoyed with the situation at the time, as soon as I walked into the terminal at SFO, I was feeling mighty grateful. There were frustrated travelers everywhere!  Lines at the gate desks about eight people deep.  My flight was one of the few that did not get cancelled out of San Diego today!

I was greeted in the hallway this afternoon by one of the radiation technicians before I was able to even check in.  I’m guessing I was one of their last patients of the day as it was by far the quickest treatment!

I really do love how the universe works sometimes. Tonight at the kickoff for the 2016 CAF Million Dollar Challenge, all the riders were given a bracelet with the name of an athlete on it, along with their motto and story. I got Megan, a 33 year old, below the knee amputee cyclist who received a grant to help pay for her time trial bike…her motto, shown below, is very much in line with what I wrote about last night…

The kicker, though, in her story she talked about what helped her initially start riding her bike and getting herself in shape was her “Betsy the Wonder Dog”!

I guess there ARE some good Betsys out there!!

My radiation machine had a mechanical issue yesterday which caused me to have my treatment earlier in the day on the one day of the week that I decided to make it into work early…had literally made it all the way to Alameda and had to immediately turn around and sit in and hour fifteen worth of traffic!  But no worries, treatment got done. 

Then got two confusing phone calls in the afternoon about my treatment for today. Long story short, they had to set my treatment plan up in a new machine which meant downloading the program and taking new films.  

After the treatment was over, Dr. G came and asked me if I was feeling a little less pregnant! 😉

I said yes if that meant it looked like treatment was working!

He’s cautiously optimistic, but I’ll totally take it!! Awesome way to kickoff the end of MDC!

You’re going down, Bets!!

That’s right, the second interval/set is in the books!!  It’s these next two that are going to be the most challenging. Well, that is if they are anything like my interval training on the bike…depending on the number of sets, usually the first one or two are pretty strong. Then the middle sets usually suck, and I lose my stamina.  I keep telling my roommate that I’m just waiting to start feeling like crap….and that way i won’t feel quite as guilty asking people to do stuff for me!!  But I know the feeling gross is a’coming, so I’m ready!  Fingers crossed I can maintain my stamina with these middle two sets!

Another day of treatment in the books and another day of missitus of riding my bike down the coast of California with 119 others riders!  Though full of missitus, it’s been fun living vicariously through pics on social media. 

And while I was having missitus of the CA coast, there was someone making I wasn’t being missed at Mt Zion radiation….As I was walking back for treatment this afternoon, the tech informed me that it was requested by Nurse LuDene to see her after treatment. You see, she wanted to check in before she headed out in vacation for the rest of the week. She also wanted to reassure me that if I needed anything that there were plenty of nurses that I could follow up with while she was out!  It feels really good to know someone is looking that closely after my well being.  She really is a super hero to me!!

I’m definitely getting into the routine of this daily treatment thing…so much so that I’m finding that I walk the same way there and back each day. After I check in, I sit in the same chair in the waiting room.  Is that routine or being a creature of habit or both??  Now, if I could only apply this same repetitive behavior to straightening up my room each day!!

It might be that I’m now settling into the routine, but I feel like the pace of each treatment is getting faster…or the mind games I’m playing with myself are working! 

As a part of my fundraising efforts for Challenged Athletes Foundation this year, I had some athletic socks made inspired by the paint job on my cycling leg…they arrived today!!  So excited as they arrived just in time to be able to hand deliver several pairs tomorrow to some of my favorite people that I’ve meet through CAF!  

And tomorrow is also the kickoff of the 2016 CAF Million Dollar Challenge!  I was to be once again riding my bike in this amazing week-long journey down the coast of California, but with the arrival of Betsy, it’s changed up the plans a bit. Though I won’t be doing the full ride this year…a few miles on the first day and half and the last day…I’ll be doing what I can and enjoying every minute of it!

It was on this journey two years ago that I adopted my motto, It’s Me Vs. Me.  I don’t know how many times I’ve stood in my own way by making the choice to doubt my abilities and not believe that I could achieve a certain goal.  It wasn’t until I started cycling and getting super frustrated with climbing hills (many, many times to the point of tears!) that I understood what mind games I play with myself all the time!

And by no means am I saying I totally have it figured out. But I’m aware now, more than ever, that’s it’s my choice in how I tackle or react to a situation, and not anyone else’s. It’s me vs. me. 

Set 1 of 5 is now complete! Only 4 more to go!  Music selection was acceptable today, so didn’t bother asking them to change it. 😉

Today was a pretty awesome day on the life front. I had the privilege of seeing some amazing friends that I only get to see about once a year. It’s that group of people that you spent a concentrated amount of time together and you all experienced this common bond of working toward making something really amazing, and at this same time forming these incredible, life-long friendships that you cherish forever.  

There was a small group of us that got together for a happy hour. We shared a few drinks and a ton of laughs, then started to go our separate ways.  But one friend asked if anyone wanted to grab some dinner, and two of us were like of course! So very rarely do you get a hall pass!!

So wonderful catching up and spending that extra time together to talk about life, perspective and just enjoy each other’s company in that moment.  A little sad, but such a true and honest way to think about it…my one friend pointed out that just the three of us may never share a moment like this again…which makes me all the more grateful for how the evening played out!!  XOXO, Meg & Rav!!

I love how music can really transport to a different place in time or sweep you up in the moment triggering happiness, laughter or sometimes even tears. It can even create feelings of uncertainty or thoughts of “that’s just down right odd.”

The latter is what is happening on treatment days. There’s music playing in the treatment room which is actually a great distraction while trying to lay completely still. First day I think it was some singers & standards that I quite enjoyed. But the last few days the selection has just been off. 

I’m not quite sure how to describe it, but it’s like the music a director selects for a really terrible, violent or disturbing scene, yet wants to be ironic with the music choice so selects something all sunshine and roses like a Mama Cass ditty from the sixties. I’m sure there’s a term for it, but my 10 seconds of googling turned up with nada. 

But yeah. A little odd to me to have this cheery, 60’s like music playing in the background…stuff I’ve never even heard…while getting radiation. What if they aren’t giving me radiation at all, and it’s actually some twisted X Files plot?!?  We are in the basement of a hospital after all!  What if…

Oy.  I think too many nights of restless sleep is making me a little delirious…time to shut this post down!

Note to self, though, ask them to change the music tomorrow. 😊