A friend of mine was telling me about the struggles her friend is having with her team of doctors, and it reminded me of what another friend told me many moons ago — that only I could be my own best advocate when it came to dealing with doctors. I think this is so true, and it’s something that I have been practicing ever since. Because it does take some practice, especially if you are anything like me and not used to speaking up for yourself, asking questions and, in some cases, demanding better care.

And though, I’ve gotten pretty good at it over the years as I’ve had plenty of opportunities to practice both with good doctors as well as terrible ones (Dr. Wanker!), I like extra advocates in the room with me. I typically bring either a close friend or my mom with me to my appointments as they can be a little complex at times. So, the more ears I have listening, the better!

And in addition to the extra set(s) of ears, I often make a list of questions or things I need the doctor to do for me before my appointments, because 1) I have a tendency to forget in the moment and 2) I know I only have a finite time with the doctor. Typically I only have like 10-15 minutes (or sometimes even less) with the doctor, and I am just one of probably 20 or more patients that they are seeing that day. They’ve got a lot on their minds, juggling multiple cases, reviewing charts, and staying updated with the latest medical advancements. Even the really good doctors that can put all their attention on you for that 10-15 minutes can still get distracted by unforeseen circumstances or urgent matters that might arise during the day. This is why a list is a great tool to keep me on point and make the most out of my visit. It not only helps me stay organized but also ensures that I address all my concerns without feeling rushed or overwhelmed.

Annnnd I’ll typically review my list with my advocates prior to the appointment, so we’re both on the same page and they can help me remember anything I may have forgotten. Their support is invaluable, as they often think of additional questions or details that I might overlook, ensuring that we are thoroughly prepared to discuss my health and treatments. As they say, two heads are better than one. So between me and my advocate, we can maximize the effectiveness of each visit and make the most out of the limited time we have with the doc.

Taking care of my health can be exhausting and overwhelming. There are times that I just want to ignore it, and I do. But staying on top of it is kind of rewarding, because I’m actively taking care of me and making myself a better, stronger person.