Tag: life

Advocates

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A friend of mine was telling me about the struggles her friend is having with her team of doctors, and it reminded me of what another friend told me many moons ago — that only I could be my own best advocate when it came to dealing with doctors. I think this is so true, and it’s something that I have been practicing ever since. Because it does take some practice, especially if you are anything like me and not used to speaking up for yourself, asking questions and, in some cases, demanding better care.

And though, I’ve gotten pretty good at it over the years as I’ve had plenty of opportunities to practice both with good doctors as well as terrible ones (Dr. Wanker!), I like extra advocates in the room with me. I typically bring either a close friend or my mom with me to my appointments as they can be a little complex at times. So, the more ears I have listening, the better!

And in addition to the extra set(s) of ears, I often make a list of questions or things I need the doctor to do for me before my appointments, because 1) I have a tendency to forget in the moment and 2) I know I only have a finite time with the doctor. Typically I only have like 10-15 minutes (or sometimes even less) with the doctor, and I am just one of probably 20 or more patients that they are seeing that day. They’ve got a lot on their minds, juggling multiple cases, reviewing charts, and staying updated with the latest medical advancements. Even the really good doctors that can put all their attention on you for that 10-15 minutes can still get distracted by unforeseen circumstances or urgent matters that might arise during the day. This is why a list is a great tool to keep me on point and make the most out of my visit. It not only helps me stay organized but also ensures that I address all my concerns without feeling rushed or overwhelmed.

Annnnd I’ll typically review my list with my advocates prior to the appointment, so we’re both on the same page and they can help me remember anything I may have forgotten. Their support is invaluable, as they often think of additional questions or details that I might overlook, ensuring that we are thoroughly prepared to discuss my health and treatments. As they say, two heads are better than one. So between me and my advocate, we can maximize the effectiveness of each visit and make the most out of the limited time we have with the doc.

Taking care of my health can be exhausting and overwhelming. There are times that I just want to ignore it, and I do. But staying on top of it is kind of rewarding, because I’m actively taking care of me and making myself a better, stronger person.

Procrastination

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It’s the absolute worst, but I do it all the time—procrastinate. Usually over things that will not even take that long to do. I’ll find myself doing dreaded chores like washing the dishes or putting away laundry or even paying bills to avoid the one thing that I should be doing. Then when I finally manage to do it, it never fails that I think to myself, “Why on earth did I wait so long to do this? That took like two seconds?!”

I think for me, I build up this story in my mind that whatever the task may that I’m putting off, say like doing my daily 20 minutes of writing, is going to be super hard and will just take up way too much time. So, I start this point counterpoint conversation with myself that can drag on for what seems to be a lifetime. Here’s just a little sample of tonight’s back and forth over completing my 20 minutes of writing for today:

It’s only 20 minutes which is not that much time at all. Well, I want to let my brain rest of a bit after working all day, I’ll get to it in a bit.

Three hours of “resting” later.

What am I going to write about today? I don’t really have anything to say…maybe I’ll just write a bunch of gibberish and not actually post anything today. I didn’t actually commit to posting on my blog every day. Just writing 20 minutes a day. Well, that’s nonsense, I can always figure out something to write about, it may not be the most of exciting of topics, but I can figure something out. Always. And if I’m going to be writing, I might as well post it. Well, I’ll just watch one more show, and then I’ll write.

And thus the back and forth conversation continues in my head while doing anything but the task that needs to be completed until I finally say enough and get the bloody task done. Funny enough, today’s topic did finally come to me as I was doing the last bit of procrastination in avoiding today’s 20 minutes writing session. Just never know when inspiration while strike.

Oh, maybe I should think about making a topics list to help with the argument of not having anything to write about. But that’s kind of like a task that I’m sure I will more than likely spend many days procrastinating in getting done….

And just like that 20 minutes has past, and I have another post to share. 🙂

3 Things

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For the past 1,644 days I have written down at least three things that I was grateful for from the day. That’s four and a half years. That’s also the longest I have ever done anything with such consistency and commitment. Even when I was sick, didn’t have a the greatest of days, had a surgery, in the hospital or on vacation, I ended each day writing down three things.

I wish I could say that the practice has helped me become more consistent in other areas of my life, but alas I cannot. However, I can say, the practice has helped my positive nature remain positive throughout some pretty rough and traumatic times over the last four and a half years. Even on the lowest of days when I was stuck in the hospital last August for three weeks, I was able to find something to be grateful for and surprisingly a few of them were actually bad experiences — I was grateful for a bad experience with a night nurse and tech, because it helped me realize that I was actually getting stronger and healing. And on a similar vein, there was another day where I was grateful for what I called the “reality check” doc at the time who helped me flip on my bad-assery switch — there’s this thing that gets so fired up in me when some cocky, SOB tells me that I can’t do something. Fun fact, that same doc also earned himself the nickname of Dr. Wanker, which I promise I will dedicate an entire post to at some point.

I guess I could say the gratefulness practice is even helping me to stay positive during these strange times we are living in right now. Either that or I’m just really good at compartmentalizing and choosing to stay mostly blissfully unaware. 😉 But truly, the practice is one that I would encourage anyone to try, because it’s simple and it truly does help with putting you in a better mood.

I’ll leave you with my three things for Sunday, February 23, 2025:

  1. I am grateful for a full day of wearing PJs!
  2. I am grateful for all the family and friends that I’ve seen and spoken to over the last few days.
  3. I am grateful for my home and how I’ve been able to resettle it to make it feel even more homey. 💕